Total admission.... I have not been feeling well and as far as I was concerned this was the worst time to get sick (I know... when is a good time to get sick?). I was really looking forward to a retreat we attend with some other Soveriegn Grace Churches here in the south. It was in the woods (and usually) an amazing time of hearing the word, beautiful worship and a time of fellowship.
Well, I strongly suspected this wasn't going to be the same amazing experience considering I couldn't breathe, my nose was trying to run off my face and I couldn't sleep (something to do with not breathing). I was exhausted! When we arrived, I wondered if I would be coherent enough to even hear the word that was being preached?
The first day we arrived I was so exhausted I considered staying in the cabin and trying to sleep while eveyone went to the first session. Then I remembered... I couldn't sleep so that didn't make any sense at all (even for me who wasn't thinking straight at the time)!
We went to the first session and through my head pounding, eyes watering, and nose trying to run away from my face- God gingerly and sweetly spoke to me. He spoke to me through wonderful times of worship. He spoke truth into my life through the gospel. He allowed some sweet times of fellowship and I am so grateful.
This year was a little different, it was a little more low key. We saw some of our friends but probably not as much as in previous years. Jody and I spent a lot of time on our bikes gathering kids and trying to make a few moments of QT (Jody would be flying out on Sunday and gone for a week so some sort of family time was needed)!
Little did I know- once again I was exactly where I needed to be, sickness and all (you would think I would get this by now). I am always right where he wants me to be! I am not sure why I would think a little sickness would be greater than "My God who can move moutains and is mighty to save" (I love that song)! What was I thinking?
What a wonderful time of encouragment, conviction and feeling God's ever present hand in my life! I love God! I pray as I have the freedom to celebrate Him I will continue to do so. I want my life to show I am aware of His work, His gifts and His deeds. God really convicted me on how harsh and demanding I am with my children at times. Usually when I am wanting something done and (if I am being completely honest) I want it more than I care about my relationship with my children or how they are seeing the gospel lived in me. If I am living my life aware of His love for me - I will not be harsh, I cannot be demanding.
I don't have the strength on my own to resist this or any other sin. But with His gracious help I can overcome, I can say no to sin. I have the freedom to do that! I have the freedom to rebel against sin, and not against my wonderful saviour who has shown love to me in ways I cannot begin to measure.
God is faithful even when I am not! I constantly thank God that He is the one in charge and not me. His plans for me have far exceeded any I ever had for myself!